Behind His Walls Read online

  She pulled back, but kept her hands on my arms. “You said you were fine last night, but I needed to see it for myself.”

  “I probably should’ve come over last night to talk to you in person. The whole thing was so exhausting.” I walked her over and sat on the sofa with her.

  “I’m sure it was. How long are you staying with Joseph? You can come home, you know?”

  “Mom, I know, and if it was safe for you, I would be there in a heartbeat.”

  “You don’t think the police can protect my home as much as they’re protecting Joseph’s?”

  “Your home is being protected. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. How are you?”

  “You mean besides worried about my only child? I’m fine.”

  “I’ll be fine, Mom. Please don’t worry about me.”

  She held the side of my face. “I’m more worried about your heart.”

  I looked down and swallowed. She knew I had feelings for Joseph before I stayed with him. It was hard to keep that kind of thing from your mother, no matter how much you tried. She knew something was up when I stopped dating and only went out with Joseph.

  “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  I placed my hand on hers and looked up, meeting her eyes. “I’ll be fine. I think it’s safe to say the line has already been drawn for what Joseph wants, and it isn’t me.” I blinked back tears. “It’s good to get it out of the way early. There’s no longer any doubt for why he hasn’t made any kind of move when we’re out. He doesn’t believe in love and romance.”

  “Baby, you will find your prince.”

  I smiled at her choice of words, even though it ripped a new kind of pain through me. He was my prince in more ways than one. I wondered what my mom would think about the Prince Albert that Joseph was sporting. I wasn’t ready for that awkward conversation.

  No matter how much I wanted to talk to someone about my new experience, my mother was not that someone to talk to. My mind drifted back to the first time I saw his piercing in the bathroom. It was intimidating at first, but when I thought about it sliding against places inside me . . . I shifted in my seat.

  “Okay, you’ve got clients coming, I’m sure. I need to leave you alone so you can get ready for your afternoon. I’d like for you and Joseph to come for dinner some night. I think you’re a package deal until this lunatic is caught, but I still need to see my baby girl. As long as Joseph treats you right, he’s welcome to come, too.”

  “We will.” I walked her to the door and hugged her. “I’ll call you later.”

  I shut the door and leaned against it with Joseph’s piercing still on my mind. I shouldn’t have allowed my mind to go there. I had half a day still ahead of me and being distracted and aroused was not how I wanted to spend it. It also didn’t help that I’d find no relief when I got home unless I relieved myself.

  Once I’d had the piercing rubbing and sliding against the spots I could never reach, I knew I was ruined for anything else. I would have to settle for mediocre orgasms, but I’d take them. In fact, I looked at the clock, if I had the time, I would’ve settled for one right then, but I needed to prepare for my next client.

  I smirked as I walked back over to my desk. I also needed to figure out how to have him bare. If it was that amazing with a condom, I could only imagine what it would feel like uncovered. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I was determined to find out.

  I was reading through the notes of my next client when I heard a knock at the door. There were still thirty minutes before the client was due to arrive. Part of me hoped it was Lindsey¸ and she’d learned not to barge in. I cleared my throat and walked over to open the door. Teresa Perkins was just as beautiful as her daughter.

  “Teresa, it’s lovely to see you again. Please, come in.” I held the door open further.

  “Thank you. I wanted to thank you for looking after Lindsey. I would rather her be home with me, but I understand she feels safer with you.”

  “I think she’s more worried about bringing danger to you instead of feeling safe with me.”

  “Do you have a moment to talk?”

  “Yes, I have a few minutes left of the lunch hour. How may I help you?” I motioned for her to sit on the sofa.

  She nodded and took her seat. “Normally, this conversation is left for the father to have with his daughter’s suitor, but we all know he isn’t here.”

  “Teresa—”

  “What are your intentions with my daughter?”

  “I want to keep her safe.”

  “Does that include her heart?”

  Her mother didn’t pull any punches. I rubbed my jaw as I thought of my answer. “I don’t believe anyone can be safe from their heart, but I have discussed the situation with Lindsey. She knows there’s no option for romance. Her staying with me is only about her safety.”

  “You’re scared, and that’s okay, but I see how you look at my daughter. Her father saw it, too.”

  “I respect your daughter immensely, and there’s no denying that she is attractive, but it is only friendship I’m interested in. She’s respected that, and I ask that you respect that, as well.”

  “I do respect you. I would like for you to see what the rest of us see in you. You’re more than your past.”

  “I mean no disrespect, but you have no idea about my past.”

  “Her father and I agreed that we would let you come to us with your history, and we’d never speak of it until you did.” She shook her head. “I don’t believe you ever will.” She sighed and pinned me with a look. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to calm herself or me.

  “Joseph, I knew who you were the moment Lindsey introduced us. You changed your last name, but anyone with a soul would remember the boy the press hounded. The boy who lost everything when his mother gave him his freedom.”

  I couldn’t speak, but I locked my eyes with hers. It seemed she knew more than I thought, but she still didn’t know the whole story. She couldn’t have.

  “Your mother did that for you. She sacrificed her life to give the most important person in hers a chance of living. When are you going to take that chance?”

  She stood and walked over to me, placing her hand on the back of my neck and kissing the top of my head before leaving me to digest the bomb she had just dropped onto my lap.

  “Thank you, sweetheart. Now, sit up at the table, and I’ll get you a snack.”My mother turned to the kitchen to fix me something to eat. I looked back to the front door and wondered if I should tell my mom. I’m not supposed to throw rocks in the air, but I don’t have a ball to play with, and I like catching stuff. I looked back down to the table I was sitting at and frowned. I didn’t catch the rock that hit the car. My dad was going to be mad.

  My mom came back with an apple cut up and placed the plate in front of me. “Hurry and eat, Joey. You took a longer nap than I thought you would, and we need to head to the store before your father wakes.”

  “Too late.” My father came over and grabbed a couple of the apple slices for himself and picked his keys up off the table. “I’ll go myself.”

  I couldn’t look at him. My mom waited until he left, but she placed her hand on my forehead.

  “Do you feel okay?”

  I looked away.

  “Joey, does your tummy hurt?”

  I shook my head. I should’ve told my mom so she could’ve fixed it before my dad went out there, but when I heard the door slam, I knew he saw the rock on the roof of his car. I couldn’t reach it.

  “Joseph!” He stormed in and threw the rock at me, hitting me in the arm. “What have I told you about playing with the fucking rocks? You get them in the yard, and then the mower runs over them. What happens then?”

  I stayed quiet and rubbed my arm.

  My mom tried to stand between us. “He’s only five years old. He just wants to play.”

  He shoved my mom. “He has plenty of toys to play with.” He turned back to me and picked the rock up, p
lacing it onto the table. “Why do you keep playing with that?”

  I would glance his way, but never really look at him. He scared me. I didn’t know what the right answers were.

  “Why? Tell me why!”

  “I don’t have a ball.”

  “Not this again. You’ll break a window with it. You’re not getting a ball.”

  “He hasn’t broken a window with the rocks.”

  My father’s lip twitched when my mother spoke out of turn. That wasn’t good. I tried to get his attention back on me. “I’m sorry, Dad. I won’t play with rocks anymore.”

  I got out of the chair and tried to pull him toward me. I didn’t like the way he was walking toward my mom. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

  He turned quickly and grabbed my arm. “Get the belt.”

  I stumbled when he shoved me, but I continued to get the belt. The belt hurt, but if he would leave my mom alone, I’d take it.

  “Don’t do this. He’s just a kid who’s trying to play catch. Was there any damage?”

  “No, but he needs to do as he’s told.”

  I came back as my father pushed my mom against the wall. “Here, Dad.” I shoved the belt at him.

  He grabbed it from my hands and shook it in my mom’s face. “You need to learn to watch him. What was he doing outside by himself?”

  “I was giving him more responsibility and had him take the trash out.”

  “You walk it out with him if he can’t be trusted to leave the rocks alone!”

  “Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

  My father backed up and looked at me. “You still need to be punished.”

  My mom gripped his arm when he walked toward me. “Punish me.”

  He shook her off and kept coming for me. “I plan to.”

  He grabbed me and lifted me in the air by my arms before setting me hard into a chair at the kitchen table. “Put your hands in your lap.” I did as I was told, and he wrapped the belt around me a couple of times and laced it through the kitchen chair.

  “That’s tight!” I couldn’t breathe.

  “Good. It means you won’t get free.” He stood and turned to my mom. “Your turn.”

  My mom backed up as he approached her. “Don’t you need the belt?”

  “The belt isn’t what’s going to tear through your ass today.”

  There was a flicker of fear in my mother’s eyes before she looked at me and smiled. “I’ll be right back, Joey. Just sit still, and you’ll be fine.”

  My father turned her and shoved her to their bedroom. I tried to sit still as I was told to do, but when I heard my mom’s screams and cries, I tried to get free to help her. I was still too small to help her, but when I got bigger, I’d stop him. I had to.

  I startled when I felt hands on mine. “I’m sorry.”

  “Joseph, what’s wrong?” Lindsey was on her knees in front of me, holding my hands. “Elizabeth was trying to get you on the phone and came to me when she walked in on you like this. Please talk to me.”

  I looked at the clock and saw that I was five minutes late for my appointment. “I can’t.”

  I stood on my shaky legs and walked over to my desk. I drank the rest of the water I had and rubbed my eyes. I needed to clear my mind.

  She stood and placed a hand on her hip. “That’s the second time I’ve witnessed it. How often does it happen? And, don’t tell me that it doesn’t happen. Don’t lie to me. I deserve more than that.”

  I cleared my throat. “I’ve been able to keep these thoughts at bay until recently. Now, if you don’t mind, I believe we both have clients waiting on us.”

  “Are you saying this is my fault?”

  “Of course not. I’m saying it’s a recent development. I’ve only had the two.”

  “Maybe I should stay with my mother. I don’t want to cause you any grief, but clearly I am.” She motioned to me.

  I took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about my parents, Lindsey. It has nothing to do with you.”

  “Your parents?” She took a step closer. “You never talk about your parents.”

  “And, I won’t be talking about them now. We both have clients who need our attention more.”

  She looked at her watch and nodded. “You’re right. Try to have the next one when it’s a little more convenient to hound you about it.” She flashed a teasing smile before walking out.

  I was working on the final client’s notes when there was a knock at the door. I had expected it to be Elizabeth, but looked up to see Lindsey instead.

  “May I come in?”

  “Of course. Are you finished for the night?”

  She walked up to my desk. “I was hoping you’d be ready to go soon. I have a favor to ask.”

  I put my pen down and tilted my head. “I’m almost finished. What did you need?”

  “I’d like to visit Jasmine.”

  I looked back to my notebook. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I don’t have to, but I want to. That accident was meant for me. I need to see her.”

  I set my pen down and nodded. “Okay.” Lindsey was probably feeling just as much guilt as I was. Hers for being the intended target and mine for letting her go. I needed to see Jasmine, too.

  I sighed as we stepped off the elevator on Jasmine’s floor. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I needed to support her and wanted to be strong for Lindsey, but seeing a good friend lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to countless machines wasn’t something I was looking forward to.

  Aaron was standing outside the room when we approached. “I’m glad to see you here. I think a familiar voice will help.”

  “She still isn’t awake?” I thought for sure she would’ve come out of it long before I got there.

  “No. The doctor doesn’t seem as concerned, but he is watching her. He’s supposed to be back in a little while if you want to stick around and talk to him.”

  “We’ll see how long it takes him.” I wanted to talk to him, but I needed to get Lindsey home. I pulled on her hand, and she tugged back.

  “I want you to go in first. I’ll come in after a few minutes. Spend time with your friend.”

  I tugged her with me. “I’d like it if you’d join me.”

  She nodded and followed. I was glad she didn’t argue with me. I appreciated the time she was trying to allow me, but I needed her support more.

  We walked inside, and it was difficult to recognize Jasmine with the flat hair and makeup-free face. She was still a beauty and a force to be reckoned with, but I could see the bruising and swelling from the accident and knew she had to be in a lot of pain.

  Her left eye had the most bruising that traveled down the side of her face. Her left arm had a bandage from her wrist to her elbow. It must’ve been cut from the window shattering.

  I let go of Lindsey’s hand and approached Jasmine. “You don’t look as bad as my imagination led me to believe, Jasmine. You’re even breathing on your own.” I pulled a chair up beside her and held her hand. “So why aren’t you waking up yet?”

  I felt Lindsey stand behind me and place her hands on my shoulders. “She does look better than I thought she would, as well. That’s a good sign.”

  “I hope so. She’s a fighter, so I know she’ll pull through.” I squeezed Jasmine’s hand, hoping she would squeeze it back. She didn’t. “You told me once that you were a pain in my ass that I couldn’t live without. You’re right. I need you to wake up and be that pain again.”

  I missed Lindsey’s laugh, but hearing it at that moment made me smile. There wasn’t much for her to laugh at since Austin escaped. “She really said that to you?”

  I chuckled. “She did. Every time she left for another flight, she’d warn me about finding a replacement. I was frustrated once about something, and I told her she was a pain in my ass. She didn’t bat an eye at my outburst and only responded to say that she was a pain in my ass that I couldn’t live without.”
I picked up her hand and kissed it. “I never doubted you, Jasmine, so you didn’t have to prove it.”

  Lindsey walked to the other side of the bed and sat in the other chair. “How did you two meet?”

  I smiled. Normally, I wouldn’t have told her this story, but I was hoping the conversation would help bring Jasmine back.

  The plane was only half full, but I got stuck in the most crowded part with the chattiest people. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I excused myself to use the lavatory, but didn’t actually go. I went to the emptiest area and sat. The flight attendants were having a conversation that I could overhear. I shook my head and put my head in my hands. I just wanted quiet.

  “I told him if he couldn’t get me off, then we were off.”

  “I swear, girl. You’re having the worst luck with men. That or it’s you.”

  “What did you say? I tell you there is nothing wrong with me. I get by just fine on my own, if you know what I’m saying. I would just like a hard body next to me when I do it sometimes.” They started laughing. “Is that too much to ask?”

  “Not at all. I got lucky with my guy. He’s great.”

  “Sure, rub it in.”

  “Sounds like you’re the one who needs to rub it out.”

  She groaned right before she came through the doorway. “You are so right.”

  I’d wondered which one was talking as I listened to their conversations. I’d seen both of them. I just hadn’t been able to match the voice to the face yet. It was the blonde with the large breasts and legs that wouldn’t stop, and she was exactly the one I wouldn’t have minded helping out.

  “What are you doing back here?” She looked to the back where she just came from and back to me and sighed. “You heard everything, didn’t you?”

  “I came back here to stop hearing things. I can’t sit up there with them. I just need quiet.”

  “Well, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go back to your seat.”

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out a business card. “If you let me stay back here, I’ll give you free counseling whenever you’re in town.”