Striving for Acceptance Read online

  I stepped on my tiptoes and kissed him again. He let go of my hands to finish taking my shirt off. I took my arms out as he opened the shirt and let it drop to the floor. I reached behind me and unfastened my bra. I kept trying to kiss him, but he wanted to look at me.

  I stood back and took the bra off, dropping it on my shirt and letting him look. My jeans were next as I was his sole focus. He watched every move I made as I undressed, his eyes moving with me as each inch of skin was exposed. I reached for my underwear, and he stopped me.

  “I . . .” he never finished his sentence. He stepped forward and kissed me. His hands cupped my exposed breasts, and I moaned in his mouth. He moved down, kissing my neck before finally reaching my breasts.

  I closed my eyes. Sex with Al’s present was fine to take the edge off, but this was what I needed. I needed a hot mouth tasting every inch of me. I needed to be devoured, and Mick knew exactly how to do it.

  He put his arm behind my knees and caught me with his other arm. I let out a yelp before I knew what was happening. He carried me to the bed and laid me down. I watched with fascination as he started to take off his jeans. I needed to see if that bulge was as impressive without the jeans.

  I propped myself up on my elbows as he threw his jeans onto a chair. The tent in the boxers I’d seen before was back. I reached out to touch it, but he batted my hand away.

  “Good things come to those who wait.”

  “You’d better be good. I’m taking a chance on you.”

  He smiled as he reached in his drawer and pulled out a condom. He tore it open and laid it on the nightstand. He was torturing me with how slow he was going. I slid my hand down my body and slipped it into my waistband. I arched my back as I touched myself.

  He stood mesmerized with his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers. I was sure he regretted the choice to leave me partially dressed. He would’ve had an unobstructed view of my masturbating.

  I turned my head to him and smiled. “This could be yours to play with. If not . . .”

  I trailed off as he lowered his boxers. I sat up and wrapped my hand around him. He felt amazing in my hand. I could only imagine how he would feel inside me. I looked up and noticed his head was thrown back; he was enjoying the hand job. This wasn’t all about him, though.

  I reached over and grabbed the condom. It rolled down smoothly and his head was still tilted back. I stood and stepped out of my last piece of clothing before lying back down. I pulled on his hand to get him to lay down with me.

  He looked down at the sight before him and smiled. “I’m going to fuck you up.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  He smirked as he grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the edge of the bed. I swallowed; he didn’t seem the type to take charge. He put my calves on his shoulders and leaned all the way down, pressing my knees to my chest, to whisper in my ear. “Scream as loud as you want. Don’t hold back. I’m not going to.” He stood and gripped my hips as he thrust forward.

  “Oh!” I arched my back.

  His thrusts were hard and fast. I was sure he was leaving marks on my hips the way his fingers were digging into them, but I didn’t care. I needed it as hard as he could give it and he was giving it hard. I reached up above my head to grab the comforter.

  His thrusts became softer as he let go of my hips and reached up to pinch my nipples. I arched my back and covered his hands with mine. I needed them back on my hips. He laced his fingers with mine and put my hands above my head as he covered my body with his.

  I loved feeling his chest against mine, but I needed him to go faster. I turned my head to his ear and whispered, “Fuck me.”

  “I am.”

  “No, fuck me like before.”

  He looked at me and looked up to our joined hands. He stood up and pulled out of me, grabbing my ankles, which were still on his shoulders, and flipped me over. Before I could get my orientation, he lifted my hips and started the hard thrusts again.

  “Fuck, you feel good.” He felt amazing, too. I put my face in the comforter and cried out. It was a much louder cry when he leaned forward and pulled my head up by my hair. “Don’t stifle it. Scream so I can hear you.”

  “Oh, God. Don’t stop!”

  He let go of my hair to grip my hips and started pounding again. It was building more and more with every thrust. There was nothing beautiful about the way we were going at it. There was no lovemaking. It was just sex—just what I asked for. At that point, I didn’t care about the shop. I only cared about fucking him as much as I could, as often as he would let me.

  The sound of our bodies smacking together filled the room. I could hardly breathe or speak as my orgasm came closer. He readjusted his stance and placed my hips in a new angle.

  “Oh, fuck, fuck.” I gripped the comforter harder. “Right there. Do not stop!” I wasn’t above begging. “Please, please, don’t stop.”

  He didn’t stop, but he reached around my hip and pressed his finger to my clit. My eyes rolled back, and I let out a long cry of pleasure. It was as if the world turned into slow motion for a moment, and then my orgasm hit me full-force and slammed me back into reality.

  “Yes, yes!” I started contracting around him, trying to get him in deeper. “Oh, please don’t stop.”

  He gripped both hips again to start pumping harder, and he was grunting more with each thrust. I smiled as my body started to relax. It was the most satisfied I’d ever been in my life, and yet, I wanted to do it all over again.

  Mick gave me two more thrusts and stayed in as deep as he could on the last one. I felt him spasm inside me. I thought he would’ve collapsed next to me on the bed, but he walked out of the room when he was finished. I needed to get up and leave, but I needed to close my eyes for just a second.

  I wanted to lie down and hold her, but she was clearly not interested in that. She only wanted the sex. I wanted to know what animal hurt her so I could tear him apart. She was an amazing person, only she couldn’t see that. I needed to get her to see because what I just experienced had me hooked. I needed more than just sex from her.

  I walked to the bathroom to take care of the condom and get a damp washcloth for her. I didn’t care if she didn’t want that kind of care. She needed it, and I was going to give it to her. I wouldn’t allow myself to do what we just did again without it. She would know I would take care of her.

  I put on a pair of clean boxers from the laundry on my way back to the bedroom. She was sleeping on her belly just as I left her moments ago. She was beautiful. I was quiet but still woke her when I started to clean her up.

  “Mmmm.” She stretched a little. “Ready for round two?”

  “Uh, no.” I shook my head. “If you want more rounds each time, then I suggest you take it easy on me.”

  She curled up on her side after I finished with the washcloth. “Thank you for that. I love how I feel after sex, but not so much the wet, sloppy part of it.” She patted the comforter next to her.

  I raised my eyebrows but lay down next to her anyway. She kissed me. Her breasts pressing against my chest made me want to take her all over again, but there was no way I could do a repeat performance of what she wanted so soon.

  “You taste so sweet.” She kissed me again.

  “Are you hungry?”

  She put her hand in my boxers. “I thought you said you couldn’t go again so soon.”

  I took her hand out and held it. “I meant for food.”

  “Actually, I am.” She sounded surprised by her answer.

  I didn’t give her time to protest. I got up and headed for the kitchen. She needed to eat more, especially after all the energy we had just used. I took bowls from the cupboard and turned to place them on the counter. She walked in wearing only my shirt.

  “I hope you don’t mind.”

  I shook my head and turned to the freezer. I opened the door and let the cold air hit my bare chest. I needed to cool down. I reached in and took the container out. I tried to not look at her,
but she was sitting on the counter with her bare legs swinging. I stopped and stared.

  “I did put underwear on. I’m not sitting naked on your counter.”

  I wouldn’t have cared if she did. She spread her legs to allow me access to the drawer I needed. She was killing me. I cleared my throat and went back to the container. I dished out two scoops each for of us and put the container back in the freezer.

  “What is that?”

  “It’s kind of ice cream or sorbet. Only, it doesn’t have dairy or sugar. It’s all natural.”

  “Where do you get it?” She took a bite. “This is really good. No wonder your tongue is so sweet.”

  “I made it.” I took a bite. I wasn’t comfortable telling people I cooked.

  “You made this? Like, on your own, didn’t buy it from a store, made it?”

  “Yes. Why is that hard to believe?”

  “Oh, it isn’t. I didn’t mean that. I just meant it was really good.” She took another bite. “I knew you were good in the kitchen. You’ve made dinner for me before.”

  She was moaning after every bite and it was too soon after hearing her moan for different reasons in the bedroom. I took her bowl and she protested until she looked in my eyes. I set it down as she swallowed. She almost looked nervous. I slid my hand around the back of her neck, pulled her close, and kissed her.

  “I’m good at other things in the kitchen, too.”

  I pulled her hips to the edge of the counter and pressed my erection against her. Her arms went around me as I kissed her neck. I grabbed my wallet from the counter and prayed I had a condom in there. She laughed at my triumphant holler when I pulled one out.

  “I could’ve waited for the trip to your nightstand. How old is that thing?”

  I looked up at her. “It’s fresh. Don’t worry.”

  “Here, let me.” She hopped down and knelt before me. “I need to make sure you’re completely ready.”

  She wrapped her lips around me and I let out a moan. Her mouth was cold from the frozen fruit, but her tongue was hot. I’d never felt a sensation like that, and I wasn’t sure how long I would last.

  “If you want to have sex again tonight,” I sucked in a harsh breath. “Oh, God. I’m not going to last with that.”

  She smiled as she stood up. “You can’t take a little tongue action? I’m glad you lasted long enough to get the condom on.”

  I grabbed her and put her back on the counter. She laughed until I used my thumb to move her panties out of the way and thrust in deep. I put my hands around her backside and slid her even closer to me then placed my head on her shoulder. I wasn’t sure how long I could hold out this time, but I needed to make sure she was satisfied first.

  She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. It didn’t seem like it would take her long the way she was clinging to me.

  “Don’t stop.” She pressed her chest against mine and held me tighter. “Please, don’t stop.”

  Hearing her plea gave me that little extra energy I needed. I stood a little taller and took her off the counter, holding her in my arms as I thrust into her. I knew she just wanted me for sex, but this was the most intimate I’d ever been with anyone. I’ve had plenty of relationships just for the sex, but I needed her to see me for more than that. I needed her. I needed all of her.

  Her nails dug into my shoulders as she leaned back. “Oh, God. Yes! Please, just stay right . . .” Her orgasm ripped through her body, making it near impossible to hang onto her. She sat up in my arms abruptly and looked in my eyes. “Lay on the floor.”

  “What?”

  “Just do it. On the floor. On your back.”

  I let go of her as she unwrapped her body from me and got on the floor as she demanded. She stood above me and removed her clothes then straddled me and guided me into her. I closed my eyes. She started moving faster and leaned forward, placing her hands on my chest for more leverage. I started to thrust up as she went down.

  “Oh, yes. Keep doing that.”

  I gripped her ass as she rode me. “Fuck. I can’t hold out much longer.”

  I watched as she slid her hand down my body but stopped her before she touched herself. I slid my thumb into place and started circling her clit. She started moving faster.

  “Yes, yes, do that.” Her head went back as her legs started shaking. “Oh, God!”

  I wrapped my arms around her as she fell to my chest. She was breathing hard. We both were. She whispered something, but I couldn’t make it out. “What?”

  She tilted her head to look at me. “Keep going.”

  I grabbed her ass and kept thrusting. It wasn’t going to take me long to finish.

  I had taken a hot shower when I got home the night before and again when I woke up, but my muscles were still sore and protested the movement to get my flowers where they needed to be. I was exhausted.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Rachael had come in to help me with the delivery. Just as it was promised to Mick, they were delivered late in the afternoon. It didn’t leave me much time to open the very next day.

  “Yes. I’m just tired.” I picked up another box. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just work.”

  She shook her head. “You won’t tell me what happened. I don’t know if it was a good night or a bad night or if you even went. You could’ve chickened out for all I know and are regretting it today.”

  I sighed and turned to her. “For your information, I didn’t chicken out. I’m tired and sore and can barely move today because he was fantastic.” I tilted my head. “Are you happy now?”

  I rolled my eyes and walked away as she stood there beaming. You’d think she was the one who had a fantastic night of sex. Maybe she was.

  “I’m so happy!” She came up behind me and hugged me.

  “Why does my getting laid make you happy?”

  “It’s who you were laid by,” she stopped and looked at me, “is that even right?” She waved her hand. “Never mind. You know what I mean. I’m just happy you two got together.”

  I put the box down. “No. No, we didn’t,” I made air quotes with my fingers as I spoke, “get together. We had sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.” I picked the box up again.

  “But you are going to see him again, right?”

  “I’ll sleep with him again if he wants, but I’m not seeing him. We’re not dating. We’re not even friends. We’re just—”

  “Fuck buddies.” Mick finished my sentence.

  I turned to him as if his overhearing me didn’t bother me. “Right. See?” I turned to Rachael. “He gets it. You need to get on board, too.”

  She looked between the two of us and shook her head. “You two are unbelievable.” She took a box to the back.

  I turned to Mick. “What are you doing here?”

  “I thought I could help.”

  I sighed. “I thought you understood I only wanted sex from you.”

  “Look, whether we had sex last night or not, I still would’ve come down to see if you needed help. I don’t see why what I used to do before has to change.”

  I shrugged. “That’s true.”

  It did go a lot faster with Mick around. Rachael was relieved someone else showed up to help. It wasn’t that she was afraid of hard work–she worked very hard at anything she did–it was just a lot of work for two people. We would’ve been there most of the night.

  “Hey, do you two think you have the rest of the staging? I need to get home before Amy goes to bed.”

  “Yeah, thanks for helping today. You were great.”

  “No problem.” She smiled. “I’ll be back before you open tomorrow and snap some pictures. We’ll get the website finished while you help your first customers.”

  “Thanks.” I hugged her before she left. It was great to have a sister in my life. It took us long enough to connect, but I was really glad we did.

  Mick came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “I thought she’d never leave.” He started kissing
my neck.

  I smiled and touched the side of his face. “Not tonight, lover boy.” I stepped out of his embrace.

  He almost sounded hurt. “Why?”

  “I have a big day tomorrow, and I’m already exhausted from this rush setup. I’ll take a rain check, though.”

  “That’s okay. I needed to talk to you first, anyway.”

  “Oh? What about?”

  “I want to know about your sexual history. Usually, I won’t sleep with someone until I know it. I just lost it last night, I guess.”

  “I’m clean.”

  “I believe you, but I need to know your history.”

  “No, you really don’t need to know it. We’ve already had sex, so if you were really worried about it, it would be too late.”

  “I’m not sure why you seem offended by this. You should want to know mine, as well.”

  “I don’t. I don’t care how many people you’ve slept with. We used a condom both times, so I’m not concerned.”

  “Condoms aren’t foolproof.”

  I stopped arranging the flowers and looked at him. “Are you saying you’re concerned about me?”

  “No.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I want to get married someday and have a family. I’m not willing to risk subjecting my wife to any type of STD just because I like fucking you.”

  “Don’t worry. Your someday-wife will have nothing to worry about from me.”

  “I won’t have sex with you again until you tell me.”

  “Fine.”

  I started to turn and walk toward the backroom to get away from him, but he grabbed me and pulled me close. He gripped my face and kissed me, leaving me breathless.

  “Tell me you can just quit, knowing I’m upstairs and ready to rock your world anytime you need it. Tell me you can walk away from that rush. You need it too much.” He looked down at the rise and fall of my chest. “You’re probably wet just from that kiss.”

  I shoved him. “You’re an asshole. You may have a great dick and know how to use it, but the rest of you is a big, gaping asshole. I don’t fucking care if I never have sex with you again, but so you can sleep at night, I’ll tell you I’ve had five lovers before you, and I’ve never needed antibiotics afterwards.” I turned and left.