Behind His Walls Read online

  His hands slid up my back, to my shoulders, and around to my face to hold me just as I was holding him. I wasn’t prepared for what he was about to say.

  “I will destroy you. Don’t let me. Please, don’t let me.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, sensing he was going to kick me out soon. I never wanted to be anywhere more in my life. He wasn’t going to get rid of me without a fight.

  “You aren’t going to destroy me. I won’t let you.”

  The truth was . . . he already had.

  I leaned down further and brushed my lips against his. I needed him, and since I knew he wanted me, I was going to have him. The doorbell rang, and I held him tighter when he started to get up.

  “Don’t go. Just stay here with me.”

  “I have to get it. I’m sorry.”

  I sighed and slid off his lap. “We aren’t finished with this yet.”

  He ignored my comment and went to the door. I placed my hand on my belly. I didn’t think I would be sick again, but the butterflies were making it a real possibility. I didn’t want him to see me that nervous. I needed to calm down, but that wasn’t happening any time soon.

  “Jasmine? What are you doing here?” I could hear the surprise in Joseph’s voice when he answered the door, so I knew he wasn’t expecting whomever it was.

  “I wanted to take Prince for a ride.” I heard the sound of wheels rolling as she stepped inside.

  I got up. If anyone was taking Prince for a ride, it would be me.

  The doorbell saved me from the biggest mistake I was about to make. There was relief that we were interrupted, but also remorse that I left Lindsey sitting alone on the sofa. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but I valued her friendship more than a quick fuck, no matter how much I wanted her. Besides, kissing was off limits.

  I rubbed the back of my neck while I walked to the door. It was going to be one long weekend to stay alone with Lindsey and not have her.

  Without thinking, I pulled the door open and was surprised by who was on the other side. I stepped back.

  “Jasmine? What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to take Prince for a ride.” She took the space I gave her, stepped up into the entry, and wheeled her suitcase in.

  “I’m sorry, but this isn’t a good time.”

  She stood her rolling suitcase up and started to wrap her arms around me, but stopped to catch keys that were tossed her way. We both looked behind me and saw Lindsey standing there with her arms crossed.

  “My car is out front. If you need a ride, take it. I’m not using it for a while.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I should’ve called first.” Jasmine looked back and forth between the two of us. She settled on me and whispered, “I’m glad you found someone else who could take it.” She backed up and winked.

  “No, it isn’t like that.” I turned to Lindsey and noticed her scowl. “Jasmine, what happened to the guy you were living with?”

  “Oh, Joey, you were right about Brian.” She started to tear up, and I cursed myself for telling her what I thought about him when she called our dates off.

  “Jasmine,” I pulled her into my embrace as I whispered, “I was jealous. I didn’t know him to analyze him so strongly.”

  “But you were right.” She broke down, and I led her to the living room.

  “Come on. Tell me all about it.”

  We walked past a frustrated, but understanding Lindsey. She was a psychologist, too. She wouldn’t be able to turn someone away who was upset, no matter how much she may have wanted to.

  We all walked to the living room, but Lindsey turned to leave. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.” I watched as she walked upstairs and waited until she was gone to turn back to Jasmine.

  “I’m sorry I interrupted your weekend.”

  I turned back to a tear-streaked face and rubbed her cheeks with my thumbs. “You didn’t. She’s just a friend.”

  “Does she know that?”

  “Jasmine, what happened? I thought you were happy with him.”

  She leaned forward, placed Lindsey’s keys onto the coffee table, and grabbed a tissue. “I was. We were very happy.”

  “Then, what’s the problem?”

  “I picked up a few flights that kept me away from home more than he was used to. He knew I would do this. I could stay domestic and be fine for a while, but he knew I wanted to do more than just fly to Milwaukee.

  “He started accusing me of sleeping with the pilots. I was a gold card member of the Mile High Club, according to him. He wouldn’t touch me when I was home, so I started to suspect him of having an affair while I was gone.”

  “So you’ve left him?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to get back at him and sleep with my favorite prince. I haven’t had sex for so long. I really need the release. When they asked me to fill in for this flight, I thought it was divine intervention.”

  I smiled. “I think you’re right. It was meant to be that you could come back here when you needed me the most. However, I don’t think it’s for Prince.”

  She stood and paced. “I told you when we first started whatever it was we were doing, that I didn’t want to see the shrink side of you. Don’t start on me now.”

  “Would you rather I get Lindsey?”

  She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t need to talk to any shrink, so it would be a waste of time to call her down here.” She looked at me and smiled. “That would be really fun to watch you squirm with the ex, the current, and the one you really want, though.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. I regretted ever talking to her about my practice or Lindsey. She always could read me and introducing those two wouldn’t pan out well for me. I was too focused on her well-being to think that having them talk alone would be detrimental to my well-being.

  “Okay, I thought I’d offer if you won’t let me help.”

  She sat up and grabbed my thigh. At least she had the decency to whisper her thoughts. “Oh, my God. Lindsey is who’s here, isn’t she?” She looked at the keys on the coffee table she had put down when she got a tissue and back to me. Her smile said it all.

  “Jasmine, I’ll call you a cab.”

  “No, I’ll take her up on the offer to use her car and strand her here with you.” She patted my thigh. “Maybe you should be the one to talk to her.”

  She grabbed the keys and stood up. I grabbed her hips and pulled her back down. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Something you should’ve done a long time ago.”

  “And what would that be, exactly?”

  “Letting her get to know you.” She bopped my nose with her finger before heading upstairs.

  “Where are you going?”

  “It’s been a long flight. I wanted to get here as soon as I could, so now I’m going to pee.”

  She walked upstairs as I turned to grab my phone. I shook my head. She still needed a cab whether she wanted one or not.

  I heard the door open, but chose to sink further into the soft bed and ignore him. I was embarrassed that I acted so jealous. I had no right to be. Not to mention, I was more mature than that—usually.

  It was just seeing the long-legged, tanned, and very beautiful blonde trying to wrap herself around him that set me off. I wanted to be wrapped around him and was moments before she interrupted.

  “Are you really going to sleep when Joey’s downstairs all alone?”

  I sat up and looked at the long-legged, tanned, and very beautiful blonde standing at the foot of the bed. I crossed my arms. My breasts weren’t anything to complain about, but hers were certified flotation devices and put mine to shame.

  “I didn’t exactly know he was alone, did I?”

  She laughed. I narrowed my eyes as she bent over in a fit of full-on laughter. Her hand was over her mouth, trying to stifle the sound. Apparently, Joseph didn’t know she was talking to me.

  “I’m sorry, but what’s so f
unny?”

  “The two of you!” She shook her head. “For a couple of brainiacs, you two are really dumb.”

  “I’ll beg your pardon.” I stood and walked over to her. “I’m not going to stand here and be insulted by you.”

  She shook her head and waved her hand, still unable to control the giggles. “I’m not. I swear.”

  “I fail to see the humor.”

  She stopped laughing and looked at me. “Oh, God. You even talk alike.” She burst out laughing harder.

  I stormed over to the door, ready to go home as I had been trying all morning. I wasn’t sure why I stayed. Joseph didn’t want me. He wanted someone like Jasmine.

  “Wait, wait.” She waited until I turned to her to continue. “I’m sorry. I’m really not laughing at you. Well, not you alone, I guess. I only came up here to give you a little warning.”

  “Oh? You want me to stay away from your prince?”

  She smiled. “No, I just want you to be careful of Prince. Don’t judge him. Don’t try to fix him. Just let him be.”

  “I don’t judge.”

  “No, of course you don’t. You haven’t judged me once since I walked through that door.” She crossed her arms and looked at me.

  “I really haven’t. Everything I’ve thought about you is fact.”

  “Let’s hear it.”

  I stood a little taller and put my hands on my hips. “You have very long legs and a tan.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “Is that it?”

  “No. You’re a beautiful blonde.” I nodded my head to finish my statement.

  She kept her eyebrow arched and turned her head as if to question me further. I glanced at her breasts. Her face relaxed, and she smiled. “Honey, you’d be just as tall as me if you had heels on, you probably work crazy long hours just like Joey, so you don’t have much time to get a tan, and my boobs are fake. I highly doubt you’ve spent any money changing your body.” She walked up and put her hands on my upper arms. “You’re just as beautiful as I am, but I do thank you for the compliment.”

  “You expect me to believe that you just came up here to tell me not to judge him or fix him and you’re leaving?”

  “Yes. Joey isn’t mine. He never has been. I was only borrowing him until the one who should be with him woke up.” She winked at me and headed for the door. “Oh!” She snapped her fingers and turned around. “Can I still borrow your car to get to a hotel?”

  “Oh, I guess.” I nodded. “Yes, I offered. I trust you have a license and insurance?”

  She smiled. “Yes, I do. The cabs are taking forever today, and I really need to get some sleep. I have to work a red-eye, so I won’t even be here a full day.”

  “We could always take you.”

  “No, I’ll leave the keys in the glove box and lock up the car. You have a spare set, right?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Perfect. One more thing. I’m not a blonde.” She winked and walked out.

  I followed a little slower than I wanted, but I wanted to give them some sort of privacy. I was the one intruding on Joseph’s weekend. If I hadn’t been there, I was sure they would’ve been wrapped up in each other.

  I watched as Jasmine came down the stairs, and Lindsey hovered at the top. “Did you two have a good discussion?”

  Jasmine gave me the raised eyebrow look that she always gave me when I needed to calm down. I must have said it a little more frustrated than I meant to. I would’ve liked to have monitored that conversation. There were things Lindsey shouldn’t know. By the way she was slow to come down after Jasmine, I was worried she might have just learned them.

  Jasmine pulled my face down to her and kissed my cheek. “Don’t be such a worrywart, Joey. Everything is cool.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “I’m famished, but I’ll get something at the hotel.”

  “The cab won’t be here for an hour or so.”

  “Good grief. I’ll be in bed before they pull up here.” She held up Lindsey’s keys. “I’m covered. You’ll just have to take her to her car tomorrow.”

  I looked up to see Lindsey reach the bottom step. “Are you sure about this?”

  Lindsey nodded. “Don’t you trust her driving?”

  Jasmine spoke up before I could. “Don’t answer that.” She grabbed me and gave me a big hug. “You two kids have fun and be careful.”

  “You call me, okay?” I hugged her back. “Let me know how everything works out when you get home.”

  “Sure, babe.” She turned to Lindsey. “Hey, what color is your hair?”

  She looked up as if to see what color her hair was. “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t dye your hair, do you?” Jasmine shook her head without hearing Lindsey’s answer. “Of course, you don’t. Never mind.” She walked to the front door and grabbed her suitcase. “I’ll text you a picture of the new me, Joey. I think a trip to the salon is in order.”

  The door shut with Lindsey and me standing next to each other, staring at it. We glanced at each other and looked at the door again. We both probably thought she’d walk back in.

  Lindsey burst out laughing. “Did I just give my new car to your ex-girlfriend?”

  I smiled. “Yes. Yes, you did. She’ll be good to it, though.”

  She nudged me with her hip. “So you admit she’s your ex-girlfriend.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck and laughed. “I guess I walked into that one. She was someone I used to see.”

  “Naked, apparently.” She smiled and walked to the living room.

  It was slow, but I followed. “Yes. I have seen people naked before. Mostly girls.” I smiled at my own joke, but she didn’t seem too amused.

  “Is she why you wanted to know if my breasts were real?”

  That got more than a chuckle out of me. “I can’t deny that. Breasts like hers are great to look at, but not so much fun to play with.”

  We took our previous seats on opposite ends of the sofa, and the awkwardness crept in along with the silence. I thought about asking if she wanted to watch television, but it seemed too obvious that I didn’t want to talk. If I knew what to talk about, I wouldn’t mind conversation over the TV.

  “She told me to be careful.”

  I looked at Lindsey. “Jasmine?”

  “Yes, and to not judge or try to fix you. What was she talking about?”

  “We all have things that someone else thinks we need fixed. I suppose she likes me broken.”

  “I think there’s more to it than that, but for some reason, you won’t let me in.”

  “I’m allowed privacy. You won’t be able to guilt it out of me.” I stood and walked to the kitchen.

  I stayed on the sofa and let him have his privacy. I was pushing too hard. At first, it was a way to get him to let me go home. Then it became about getting to know him. At the end, I just seemed like a jealous lover who’d really done nothing more than straddle him and brush our lips together. Embarrassed, I lowered my head and wished I had my car.

  I sighed when my phone buzzed to life. Joseph probably ducked out the back and was sending me a message that he’d be back later. I couldn’t blame the guy for running.

  I sat up when I saw the missed calls and texts from my mother. Panic washed over me as I answered. “Mom? Is everything okay?”

  “You tell me, Lindsey. I’ve been trying to reach you all night and day.” The panic I felt moments ago was clearly in her voice.

  “Mom, I’m fine. What’s the matter?”

  “I just couldn’t get in touch with you. Joseph answered your phone last night and said you were very ill. I offered to come over, but he didn’t want to expose me to it and said he’d take care of you. Then I couldn’t get you on the phone, and I didn’t have his number. That needs to change. If you’re spending more time with him, I need to be able to get in touch with one of you.”

  “Mom, you’ve never asked or needed my friends’ numbers before. You don’t need them now. I’m sorry that I was
n’t paying my phone any attention, but I’m much, much better.”

  “Are you still at Joseph’s?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you still sick? I can help you at home. You’d be more comfortable in your own surroundings. I’ll come get you.”

  “No, Mom. Really, I’m fine. It’s true I was completely miserable last night, but it’s all good now.”

  “Have you eaten anything?”

  I took a deep breath. She still sounded panicked, and I was sure it was because she lost my father. She still felt guilty that she didn’t do enough to help him, but she couldn’t follow him down the same path of destruction. I wouldn’t allow it.

  “Yes, Mom. Joseph gave me some fruit earlier.”

  “Fruit? I think you should’ve had dry toast or something.”

  I smiled, getting the “mom” comments I was used to getting told me she was starting to calm down, knowing I was fine.

  “It was just some berries. I didn’t feel like eating much, but I was hungry. That’s a good sign, right?”

  “Of course. Did your body reject it?”

  I put my head on the back of the sofa. “Nope.”

  “Oh, good. You probably just had a touch of the twelve-hour bug that’s going around. You let yourself work too hard, and you’re under too much stress. You’re more susceptible to illnesses that way.”

  “I promise to take better care of myself.” I touched my small, soft belly and thought of Joseph’s abs. Jasmine didn’t seem to be the type with abs, but I didn’t suspect them on Joseph, either.

  “What’s going through that mind of yours?”

  I smiled. She could read me like a book, even over the phone. “Nothing, Mom. I just think I’ll start working out again. It’s good for the mind, body, and spirit.”

  “Okay, baby. Just don’t overdo it. Call me when you get home, okay?”

  I was silent. I wouldn’t be home that night, and if Austin wasn’t caught soon, I wasn’t sure what the plans were. “Um, I’ll call you later.”