Behind His Walls Read online

  She shook her head and looked at me. “No, I’d like to go in. I don’t want to stay long, though.” She looked past me and into the camp. “It hasn’t changed at all. Maybe just a few more people.”

  I looked behind me and nodded. I hadn’t been there much myself, but I did help her after her father died to gather what belongings he did have. It was mostly photos of her and her mother. There were a few letters hidden away that he had written to them. Those few pages he left his loved ones were bittersweet and treasured.

  I looked back to her. “Are you ready?”

  She nodded, held her head higher, and walked ahead of me. She sought out those she knew first. Approaching a homeless camp wasn’t something you stormed into, no matter what the reason for being there was. It was still their home and needed to be respected.

  “Oh, sweet Jesus, girl!” Harley spotted Lindsey before she stepped five feet into the camp. “Get over here, and let me look at you!”

  There was sadness in the smile Lindsey gave. I think out of anyone she was hoping Harley had moved out. She spoke about her often when she would come back from visiting her father. It appeared Harley was the one who invited him to the camp and helped to get him settled. Lindsey had expressed her gratitude more than once.

  They hugged, and Harley pulled back to look at her. “How are you, girl?”

  “I’m well. How are you?”

  “I’ve never been better.” Harley always had a positive outlook. She kept up the spirits in the camp as best she could. I squinted my eyes a little once my sight adjusted to the limited lighting. Her red hair looked clean and styled more than one might think a person on the streets would look.

  Lindsey turned to me and pointed to the sacks I was carrying. “We brought you all dinner if you’d like it. It’s just leftovers from a huge mistake on my part, but I’m happy to share.”

  Pride was the only thing some of those at the camp had left. They wouldn’t take anything unless you said you were going to throw it out anyway. Lindsey learned that the hard way. Her first few trips after finding her father were an eye opener for her.

  They wouldn’t take anything if they knew she purposely bought it for them. It wasn’t until after they learned she was trying to help her father that she was allowed to bring things to share with the rest of them. They wouldn’t take charity from strangers, but her dad was one of them. He was part of their family.

  She motioned for me to come closer. I walked up and placed the sacks down to shake Harley’s hand. “Good evening.”

  Harley turned to yell at the rest of them to come get dinner, and I took the moment to turn to Lindsey. Her arms had gone around her waist again once Harley let her go. “We can go when you need to.”

  She nodded. “Soon.”

  Harley came back after handing out the food and beamed when she looked at the two of us. “I have to say. Your daddy was right.”

  Lindsey tilted her head. “About what?”

  “About you two, of course.” She pointed to us as if we were a couple.

  “Oh, no.” Lindsey shook her head. “We’re just colleagues.”

  The way she said it told me where I’d messed up earlier. She was offended that I only thought of her as a colleague. I looked to the ground.

  “Oh, I just assumed since you came down here together, on a Friday night, no less.”

  Lindsey needed to leave, but it looked as if she were missing the biggest thing that would’ve made her night. Harley wasn’t eating, she looked clean, her clothes looked new, and Lindsey was oblivious to it all.

  “So, Harley, why aren’t you eating?”

  She smiled my way, knowing I was onto her news. “I don’t eat with them anymore. I visit, and they allow me to because they know I know where they’re coming from, but anything they get is for them alone now.”

  “What?” Lindsey shook her head. She still wasn’t getting it.

  “Girl, I got out. I got a job and have my own little apartment. Life is good!” She put her hand on Lindsey’s arm. “You don’t look so good. Is everything okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She waved her off. “I think it’s just coming back and not seeing Dad. I still expect him to be here.”

  “Do you have something to write on?” Harley held her hand out to me.

  “Oh, um, sure.” I reached into my wallet and pulled out a business card.

  “Thanks.” She took the card and wrote her number on the back, handing it to Lindsey. “I’d love to talk to you in a different setting. Maybe one that doesn’t bring back so many memories so we can catch up. Call me when you can.”

  Lindsey took the card and placed it inside her handbag. “I’d love to.”

  Harley looked at me with concern in her eyes. “Take her home, will ya?”

  “Of course.” I turned to Lindsey as she reached for my arm.

  “I’m really not feeling well.” She started to sway and gripped my arm tighter.

  I scooped her up and carried her to the car in my arms. This was more than just a trip down a rocky memory lane. She looked ill, and her body felt warm as she lay against my chest.

  Harley was by my side before I knew it. “Which pocket are your car keys in?”

  I glanced her way. “I can manage.”

  “Oh, I’m not going on a fishing trip. Calm down. I want to open the door.”

  I could’ve used the help to get her into the car. I wasn’t sure if Lindsey could stand on her own as limp as her body felt. “Left.”

  Harley got on my left side and carefully took the keys from my pocket. She ran ahead the few feet left and opened the passenger side door. “Now, you take real good care of her, and call my number if you need anything. I’d do anything for that girl.”

  I had just buckled her up in the car and shut the door to turn to Harley. “I will. Thank you.”

  She handed the keys back to me. “Her father used to be like this when he was sick, too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Just then, the car door opened as Lindsey leaned out and vomited. I helped her back in the car and jogged to the other side to get her home.

  Harley yelled after me. “What I mean is the flu. She’ll be better in a day or two. Just call me if she gets worse.”

  The flu? I got in and drove to my home. It was closer than Lindsey’s place, and I didn’t feel she could drive herself home. I would take her to her car when she felt better.

  I pulled in the driveway, parked, and ran to unlock the front door before getting her out of the car. It would’ve been more difficult to do while carrying her, but I didn’t want to leave her alone in my car too long. She managed to open the door in time back on the street, but I didn’t want to take any chances.

  I opened the car door and leaned in to unfasten her seatbelt. I took a moment to feel her forehead before pulling her out of the car. She was burning up. It was no longer a mystery why she was off that day. She was sick and too stubborn to admit it.

  She wrapped her arms around my neck when I lifted her out of the car and placed her head on my shoulder. I walked into the house, shut the door with my foot, and carried her directly to my bedroom.

  My body ached something fierce, but was comforted by the softness of the mattress and pillow. I must have been more ill than I thought. My bed never felt soft. I wasn’t going to question it. I was just going to lie as still as possible because any movement seemed to bring on another round of vomiting . . . or worse. I groaned at the thought.

  I kept my eyes closed as another wave of nausea hit me. It was no use. No matter how much I willed it away, it came back until I got up and handled it.

  I sat up to go to the bathroom again and was reminded that I wasn’t at home. If I had been home, I would’ve crawled into my bathroom and slept on the floor until this passed. Joseph wouldn’t allow me to do that, though. I tried.

  Even though this was not my idea of a fun night, it was interesting to see his place in ways I’d never seen it before. It was completely spotless for a
guy, especially a bachelor. I was impressed.

  It also impressed me just how much he was willing to do for a sick colleague. He was a nice guy and would’ve helped anyone, but he’d definitely seen me at my worst that night and didn’t make me feel any more self-conscious than one would be in that situation.

  I washed my hands and heard a light tap on the door. “Are you okay?”

  “I’ll live.” I dried my hands and opened the door. Joseph stood on the other side of the door with genuine concern about me in his eyes. He also had a pair of my pajamas. I pointed to them. “What’s that?”

  “I thought you’d be more comfortable in them. I wasn’t going to wake you, but since you’re up.” He handed them to me.

  “How did you get them?” I looked from him to the pajamas a few times.

  He rubbed the back of his neck and took a step back. “I asked if there was anything you needed and that was one of your requests.” He hushed me when I started to ask more questions and turned me back to the bathroom. “Get dressed, and get back into bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

  “Bossy much?” I mumbled as he shut the door.

  I looked at my pajamas and shrugged. They were my favorite pair. I might as well be comfortable. I looked in the mirror and looked at the shirt I was wearing. Joseph insisted I wear something easier to move in than my dress. I was surprised he even had an old T-shirt for me to wear. I’d only ever seen him in professional clothing. I was determined to see what other things I could learn about him. First, I needed to stop throwing up.

  I woke up and stretched before thinking. I stopped midway and realized the nausea was gone. Even though I didn’t feel completely normal yet, I still felt a hundred times better than the previous night.

  I’d been to Joseph’s home before, but only to the main area. The upstairs, especially his bedroom, was new to me. I opened the door and peeked out, not sure of what would be behind it. It was just an empty hallway.

  I slowly made my way down the stairs at the end of the hallway and followed the sound of the television. The stairs led to the back of the sofa where he was sitting. I could only see the back of his head, but I could tell by the sound of his spoon hitting the bowl that he was eating cereal.

  I smiled when I saw his choice of cereal. I would’ve suspected something more adult and serious with lots of fiber or other healthy ingredients. He was a serious man. A little too serious at times, so I thought his cereal would’ve been, too. However, when I saw the kid’s box that promised him a toy inside, I knew there was a fun side to him. I needed to get him to let that fun side free.

  I walked to the side of the sofa and stopped when I got a full look at him. He may not have used his abs to flex at all the pretty girls, but it didn’t mean he didn’t have them. I had underestimated him. As he sat shirtless in his bare feet with the pajama bottoms I expected from his mature poise, he was beautiful to me.

  I glanced up at my hair and wished I had used at least my fingers to try to control it. I shook my head and sat down on the other side of the sofa, startling Joseph.

  “You’re up.” He put his bowl onto the coffee table. “How do you feel?”

  “I don’t think I need a bucket, if that’s what you’re asking.” I looked over at him and tried to keep my eyes up to his. It didn’t work. I kept glancing down his chest and to the hair that sat just above his waistband.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I touched his arm. “You don’t have to get dressed. This is your Saturday morning. We’re two adults who can sit in our pajamas.”

  He sat back down and picked up his bowl. “Okay, then.”

  I screamed when something jumped onto my lap and giggled when I realized it was my cat. “You like to scare me, no matter where we are, don’t you?” I looked at Joseph. “Wait, how did Lexi get here? How did my pajamas get here?”

  “I was afraid you weren’t completely coherent for that conversation.” He finished his cereal and started to place the bowl back onto the coffee table. He looked at Lexi eyeing the bowl and decided to take it to the kitchen instead.

  “Well, I’m coherent now.”

  “I took a cab and picked up your car.” He pointed to the window. My car was parked outside. “I asked if there was anything you needed. You mentioned a few things, so I got them for you.”

  He rinsed his bowl and came back to the living room, leaning down to rub Lexi’s head as he walked by me. It was the first time I’d seen his tattoo. I reached up to touch it without thinking. He stopped with his hand resting on Lexi’s head and watched my fingers as they traced the lines from his shoulder down his arm. “Haven’t you ever seen a tattoo before?”

  I looked up into his eyes and pulled my hand back. “Of course, I’ve seen them. I just never imagined I’d see one on you.”

  He ignored my comment and continued to the sofa. “There’s a bag in my room for you. Didn’t you see it?”

  “No.” I kissed Lexi a few times and let her go before turning to Joseph. “Thank you.”

  “Sure. I don’t know much about cats, but I’m sure she didn’t want to be alone all night.”

  “I meant for everything. I appreciate you taking care of me last night.”

  He turned to me and smiled. “Of course. What are friends for?”

  I turned my attention to Lexi who wasn’t quite sure of her surroundings yet and didn’t want to leave my side. Joseph was sending me mixed messages with his colleague comment the night before and friends comment then. I didn’t know how to respond.

  “Lindsey, I—”

  “What do you say, Lexi? Should we head home and give Joseph his place back?”

  “Lindsey.” His voice was strong and direct as if he were commanding me to look at him. I didn’t. “I apologize if my colleague comment offended you, but I do, in fact, view you as a friend as well as a colleague.”

  I took my time scratching Lexi’s ears, but I eventually looked at him. “I honestly don’t know what to think half the time when I’m with you. We see the latest thriller movies and try to diagnose the characters afterward. We go do dinner a few times a month and have it ordered in at the office even more than that, and you brought me to your home to care for me when I was sick.”

  “Yes, because we’re friends.”

  “Then why did you choose the word ‘colleague’ when I asked you how you viewed me?”

  “What answer were you hoping for?”

  I shook my head. “You’re doing it again.”

  “Doing what?”

  “You’re analyzing me by answering my questions with questions so you can get into my head. I wasn’t fishing for any one particular answer. I simply wanted to know how you viewed me.”

  “I do think of you as a colleague, even though we don’t share a practice. We share an office space and a receptionist to help with the costs in the city, but beyond that, we are entirely separate. In my mind, a colleague is a high remark for that situation. What I meant by that was equal. I view you as my equal.

  “You were upset because you thought I was analyzing you as just another client when, in fact, I was trying to figure out what was wrong. You’d been distracted for a few days, but yesterday was very abnormal for you. I was worried, so I tried to get some understanding into what was happening with you. I didn’t suspect the flu, or I would’ve sent you home early in the day.”

  “You couldn’t have sent me home. As you said, we’re separate. You aren’t my boss, even though you are very bossy.”

  A twitch of a smile appeared for a moment. “Only with stubborn women who won’t do what’s best for themselves.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

  He nodded.

  “It’s interesting that you think you know what’s best for me.”

  “I do know what’s best for you, which is why you’ll be spending the weekend here—with me.”

  I watched as the pink color rose from Lindsey’s neck to her cheeks. I wasn’t sure if she was blushing or furiou
s that I kept telling her what to do. It did kind of sound inappropriate the way I demanded her to stay with me for the weekend, but that was exactly what was going to happen. She wouldn’t be out of my sight if I had anything to say about it.

  “Joseph, don’t be ridiculous. I’m better now. I can go home. Actually, I think I’ll do just that.” She stood, but didn’t move further than that when I started speaking.

  “You will stay with me for the weekend and beyond if necessary. I apologize if it sounds inappropriate, but it is for your safety.”

  With her back still facing me, she turned her head toward me, but wouldn’t look at me. She understood I knew her secret. “I’ll be fine, Joseph. I have security, and the police are doing routine checks. I don’t need a knight in shining armor to save me.”

  She walked away as I shook my head. She was scared. Her hands shook, there was a tremble in her voice—no matter how strong she was trying to sound, and her lack of eye contact told me all I needed to know. I allowed her to shower and dress, but I wasn’t allowing her to leave.

  I took a quick shower in the guest bath and hurried to get dressed before her. I didn’t want her to sneak out. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to do with her, but I knew she’d be safer with me than on her own.

  It wasn’t that we didn’t get along. We just hadn’t spent that much time alone together. I hadn’t spent that much time alone with anyone for a long time.

  If it was safe to leave the house, it wouldn’t have been any trouble. We would have a great time. However, staying at home with limited resources had me concerned for entertainment.

  “I think if you scrub that spot anymore, you’ll wear a hole through the counter.”

  I looked up and smiled. I didn’t see Lindsey in jeans often, but she looked just as beautiful casual as she did all dressed up. I especially loved seeing the ponytail.

  She walked up and sat on a barstool at the counter. “I feel short in sneakers, but I have to admit, they feel better than heels today.”

  “Are you still not feeling well?”