Behind His Walls Page 12

  “Yes, please. Please.” Her back arched as much as it could when it hit. “Oh, God! Fuck, yes!”

  I kept going even when she tried to get away. I wasn’t finished with her yet. She reached underneath her backside and rubbed my erection through my shorts.

  “Please, fuck me, Joseph. I need this. Please.”

  I lowered her hips to the bed and got up. She scrambled to her knees and grabbed the back of my shorts. I turned and took her hand. “This was about you.”

  She took her other hand and rubbed me again. That was why their hands needed to be bound. They were easier to control. “It’s still about me. This damn book I’m reading, and I can’t get the night we spent together out of my mind.” She shook her head and let go of me. “I’m going crazy with everything going on. I need this escape. I need this release. Please!”

  I wanted her. That was easy. What wasn’t easy was taking her in a bed. I looked to the wall and wished we were back in my room. She looked to the same spot I did and got up. She took her shirt completely off and stood with her arms above her head as she leaned against the wall.

  “I know it isn’t the same thing, but we can make it work. I can’t go back to your room yet.”

  I pointed to her. “Stay right there.”

  I ran to my room, stripping off my clothes on my way. I grabbed the box of condoms off my dresser and refused to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t need to feel guilty for fucking her before it happened. I’d feel it enough when it was over.

  Entering her room with a box of condoms in one hand and the single condom I needed in the other, I stopped when I saw she was still against the wall with her hands over her head. I tossed the box onto her dresser.

  I ripped the foil packet and slid the condom on as I walked over to her. I lifted her by the hips and slid her up the wall a little. Her legs wrapped around my waist.

  I was going to seal my place in hell for this.

  I thrust forward as hard as I could. Her arms immediately wrapped around my shoulders and her head fell back. I kissed her exposed neck and ignored her arms until her hands started clawing at me.

  I pressed our bodies harder against the wall for more support and took my hands to flatten hers against the wall. It took more concentration to keep both of us against the wall, but I didn’t mind. It helped to keep me focused on the physical feelings. I couldn’t afford any more emotional ones where Lindsey was concerned.

  It didn’t matter what precautions I took, she was still finding ways to get under my skin. She laced her fingers with mine.

  “Lindsey.”

  She squeezed her hands around mine. She knew what she was doing. “Just fuck me, Joseph.”

  I looked at her and smiled. “I think I told you the last time we were in this position that I controlled the pace.” I slipped my hands out of hers and grabbed her hips to carry her to the bed. I pulled out and tossed her.

  She started to get up to reach out for me, but I took her ankles and flipped her over. I pulled her hips up to me and thrust back into her harder than the first time. She gripped the sheets on the bed.

  “If you want me to fuck you, I’ll do it, but it will be on my terms.” I started to slow down, and she moaned. “Is that understood?”

  “Yes.”

  I pulled almost completely out until she convinced me she understood.

  “Yes! Yes, you set the pace. Just, please, set one!”

  I smiled and slammed back into her. I needed the release as much as she did, but I didn’t want her to know that. I wanted to call the shots. Her body was mine, and she was about to learn that.

  She got up on her hands and knees and started thrusting back against me. I went even faster. I reached around and rubbed her clit. I was getting too close and needed her to catch up. She put her face to the bed to quiet a scream. She was closer than I thought.

  I kept going. I closed my eyes and gripped her hips harder as my orgasm came closer. She started moaning as her orgasm ripped through her body. I loved feeling her walls clench around me. It was what I needed to find my release.

  I fell next to her on the bed. Out of breath, I turned my head to see her smiling at me. She kissed her fingertips and reached over to place them on my lips. I didn’t back away. I took her hand and kissed her fingers where her lips had been. That was the closest she would ever get to kissing me, but it was a kiss I could allow.

  “Good morning, George.” I escorted my next client to my office. It was a good morning, too. Spending another night in Joseph’s arms may not have been the smartest thing to do, but it was exactly what I needed.

  I shut the door after George entered and walked to my seat with a smile on my face. Truth was, I hadn’t stopped smiling since Joseph kissed my fingertips. It was a small gesture, but it meant so much to me.

  “I’m happy to see you smile again.” George sat in his usual spot with a smile that matched my own.

  “I always smile around you, George.” It was true. He was there to better deal with the loss of his wife, but his love for her was inspiring. Everyone should find a love like that.

  “Yes, but this is more the smile I’ve come to enjoy. You’ve been polite the last few weeks, but today you seem really happy.”

  “I’m sorry if you’ve noticed some mood changes. I try to not do that in here.” I picked up my notebook. “What would you like to discuss today?”

  “I’ve seen the unmarked cars sitting out there.” George was a retired police officer. He’d been off the force for fifteen years, but I guess cops always picked up on things. He sat forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “Are you in danger?”

  “It’s all very precautionary. Everyone is safe here, or I wouldn’t have my practice open.”

  “I know you’d never put your clients in danger, but are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, George. This is your time. Let’s discuss you.”

  “I wasn’t going to bring it up, but each time I come here it seems security is increased, and today it’s at a level that concerns me. I’ve made some phone calls to buddies who are still on the job. You’re not safe. Don’t you trust me?”

  “Of course, I trust you. This matter isn’t about trust. This matter is personal, and while I’m very fond of you as a person, this is your time. I’m here for you. It isn’t to be the other way around.”

  He sat back and looked at his hands on his lap. It was difficult to keep it professional sometimes, but we couldn’t cross the line. On the other hand, I thought the clients needed to see that we were human with our own set of problems, too. If I shut George out of what he’d already picked up on, I was afraid I’d lose all progress made with him. Worst-case scenario was that he’d stop coming if he didn’t feel a trust anymore.

  I sighed. “How much have your friends told you already?”

  He looked up. “You’re being watched. This building is being watched. What I don’t know is how credible the threat is. I just know that there is one.”

  “It’s a credible threat to me, but not to my clients or the building itself. They just want to watch it to make sure he doesn’t gain entry and wait until I’m alone. I don’t believe he’ll act while I’m in session.”

  He nodded. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “It means everything to me that you’re concerned. The police have everything under control, but I’m sure you know that already. They are your people.”

  He nodded again.

  I took a moment to look at his body language. He was slouched in the seat and slid further down with each answer I gave him. He had to know I wouldn’t have accepted help for the situation from a client, but it was clear he was hopeful for something.

  “Have you thought of finding a job in security? Even if it’s a loss prevention job for a retail store, it may help with your boredom at home and feeling of restlessness.”

  It seemed it was more about George than me, after all. I was glad I didn’t shut him down and listened to what he needed to say. I mi
ght have missed the fact he needed to find purpose again. It was good he was ready to get back out there. He needed to be among people again.

  I walked into the break room to grab lunch and saw Elizabeth standing at the sink, stirring her cup of coffee. She seemed to be lost in thought while I took my lunch out of the refrigerator. I shut the door a little harder than normal, but it didn’t seem to rouse her, either.

  “Is everything okay with you?”

  Elizabeth startled and stirred a few more times as if she hadn’t stirred her coffee at all before placing the spoon into the sink. “Yes, just a lot on my mind, I guess.” She turned to me. “You had quite the smile when you came in. Care to talk about it?”

  I couldn’t help the smile or the blush as I shook my head. “Nope.”

  Her opened mouth and wide eyes told me she was well aware of what my blush was about. She sat next to me at the table. “Please tell me he’s a great kisser.”

  “I wouldn’t know.” I opened the bag and started to remove the containers Joseph had packed for me.

  “There’s no way I’m going to believe nothing happened with that look on your face.”

  I looked to the door and back to my lunch. The last thing I wanted was Joseph to walk through the door while I talked about him. He shouldn’t have been a subject at all, but I really wanted him to be.

  Elizabeth followed my gaze and looked back to me. “He left. You’re free to say whatever you want.” She leaned in closer. “Now spill it.”

  “He left?”

  “Yeah, his client scheduled after lunch had to cancel, so he said he was using the extra time to see his friend in the hospital.”

  “That makes sense. What were you daydreaming about over there?”

  “No, you first. What happened?”

  I smiled. “As much as I want to talk about this, I don’t know that I should.”

  “Oh, my God. You slept with him! How can you not kiss him if you’ve had sex?”

  I took a bite of the salad Joseph made. I wondered that myself, but it wasn’t my story to tell. She wasn’t very patient as I finished my bite. Her fingers drummed on the table, and she arched an eyebrow when I was close to finishing.

  “Look, it isn’t for me to say. I will say I bet it’s amazing because everything else he does is spectacular.”

  She smiled and leaned her arms onto the table. “I bet. He seems to be the type to be very attentive to all your needs.”

  “All except one.” I huffed and took another bite.

  “Yeah, I don’t understand how he can not kiss during sex. I love kissing.”

  My mouth was still a little full, but I spoke anyway. “Me, too.”

  “He’ll come around. At least your guy is performing.” She stood to grab her lunch out of the freezer. “The only thing I’m getting right now is kissing.”

  “Are we talking about Aaron?”

  “Yes.” She put her lunch into the microwave and slammed the door. “I know we just met, but he’s perfect and amazing. I want to see how amazing he is at other things.”

  “Maybe you’re moving too fast for him.”

  She turned and narrowed her eyes. “Are you saying I’m a—”

  “No. No, not at all. Not all guys are comfortable with women asserting their sexuality. He may need to be the one to make the first move. When he does, pounce.”

  She smiled. “You bet your ass I will.”

  Joseph and I kept missing each other all afternoon. I wanted to get an update on Jasmine, but it would have to wait until he was finished with his last client. I looked up when my office door opened, but went back to my notes when I saw it was Phil.

  “You’ve been scarce lately. Have you found anything?”

  “More bodies.”

  I looked up as he sat in the chair across from my desk. “That isn’t funny.”

  “Who’s laughing?”

  I put my pen down. “How many?”

  “Two today.”

  “How many total?”

  “He’s been out for several weeks. You know this.”

  “How many, Phil?”

  “Five. He’s making up for lost time.” He pulled the chair up to the desk and leaned forward. “You’ve got to give me something else to help me with this.”

  “I’ve given you everything I have. He never went into specifics about where he killed them or how he disposed of them. His details were all in the act itself.” I matched his tone. “You know this.”

  “He’s moved up to older women.”

  I closed my eyes. “He’s killing me, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, I believe he is. Once he’s perfected his torture of you through these other women, he’ll come for you.”

  “How did you feel after you killed your first victim?”

  “Let’s get one thing straight.” He pounded the armrest of the chair. “They weren’t victims. They deserved what they got.”

  “People deserved to be murdered and mutilated?”

  “Yes, they did.” He sat back when I refused to show him that his outburst had affected me. “They were put in my path for a reason. Some of them hurt me, but some of them had hurt others.”

  “So you were righting a wrong?”

  “I was teaching them a lesson.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  The staring match started as it always did when I challenged him. I didn’t let it go on too long, but I also let him know I wasn’t intimidated. Scared out of my mind, but never intimidated.

  “You have to have some understanding by now that I believe you only murdered these victims because you were bored. Maybe a couple of them had pissed you off at the end, but it didn’t start out that way. I’ll ask again. How did you feel after you killed your first victim?”

  “Alive.” He looked to the ceiling and took a deep breath. “The moment her eyes went blank was the first moment I could breathe.” He took another deep breath.

  “You actually haven’t stopped killing, have you?”

  “No, I did.”

  “Why did you stop?”

  “I almost got caught. I got sloppy, careless with the last one. I’m not allowed to touch anyone else yet.”

  “Not allowed?” I sat up a little more. “You’re not allowed by laws and society’s standard, but you’ve done it anyway. What’s preventing you from doing this now?”

  He didn’t answer.

  I placed my trembling hands on my lap. “We’ll be ready for him, won’t we?” I looked up and hoped to see confidence looking back at me.

  “My plan is to get him before he comes after you, but I need your help to do that.”

  “I don’t know anything more than what I’ve already told you. I haven’t a clue how to find him.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that house you wanted to rent.”

  Joseph walked in and slammed the door. “She isn’t renting a house. She’s staying with me.” He walked toward Phil. “You want her to be a sitting duck, waiting for that asshole to come after her.”

  Phil stood and faced Joseph. “It’s not really your call, is it?”

  “Yes, it is. She isn’t going to be a pawn in some game so you can solve a case.”

  “What game is she a pawn in for you?”

  Joseph narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists before taking a step forward.

  “I’m not renting a house if that’s what you want to use it for. This is a terrifying situation that I want to end just as much as anyone, but it will do no good if we fight amongst ourselves.”

  It took a moment, but they stood down and faced me. Joseph came around and sat on the desk. “You’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you want to.”

  It wasn’t the best idea to keep Lindsey in the dark for why we were really going to see Jasmine again. With all the talk about her renting a house and leaving mine, I was afraid she’d go through with it if she knew we were picking up Jasmine to stay with us for a few days.

  It would be awkward to have all of us und
er one roof, but I needed to keep them both safe. Jasmine was being discharged and needed a few days to recover before she flew back home. She also still needed to decide what she was flying back home to.

  We stepped off the elevator, and I took Lindsey to the side instead of leading her down the hallway. I rubbed the back of my neck as she looked at me. I needed to get the questions out of the way before we arrived at Jasmine’s room. The last thing I wanted to do was make Jasmine feel unwelcome.

  “Joseph?” Lindsey tilted her head, and the creases in her forehead told me she was concerned.

  “Jasmine is being released today.”

  “That’s good, right?”

  “She needs a place to stay.” I looked into Lindsey’s eyes.

  Lindsey looked down the hall and nodded. “Yes, of course, she should stay with you.”

  “With us.”

  She turned her gaze back to me. “You only have two bedrooms, Joseph.”

  “I moved your stuff to my room.”

  She crossed her arms. “And where will you stay?”

  I backed her up and pressed her against the wall, kissing her neck. “I’d like to stay in my bed.” I kissed her neck again. “With you.”

  She wrapped her arms around me. “Are you sure about that?”

  I looked into her eyes. “After last night, I don’t think I can sleep without you.”

  She looked at my lips and back to my eyes. “I don’t know if I can be tied to your wall again.”

  “I think we both can respect each other’s boundaries. I’m willing to try.”

  I found myself saying things I meant, but wasn’t sure I could follow through with them. What was she doing to me? I placed my forehead on her shoulder and felt her arms tighten around me.

  “We’ll take things as slow as you want to, but I’d like to try to see where this could lead.”

  I stood and looked into her eyes. I wanted to believe there could be a future with her. Her mother’s comments about my mother sacrificing her life for mine had stayed with me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was have my mother’s death be for nothing. I took her hand in mine and led her down the hall.