Striving for Acceptance

  Striving for Acceptance

  Copyright © 2014 B.L. Mooney

  All Rights Reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect is appreciated.

  This book is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Cover design by Kari Ayasha from Cover to Cover Designs

  Photography Lauren Perry of Perrywinkle Photography

  Models: Megan Nall and Kolby Bering

  Edited by Hot Tree Editing

  Interior Formatting by Integrity Formatting

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Also by B.L. Mooney

  “Could you hand me another clay pot, please?” I was crouched down, getting the displays ready for opening day. Never mind it was still three weeks away. I needed to keep busy.

  The pot appeared before me and I grabbed it. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I turned my head to the male voice and was inches from a bulge I’d gotten used to having in my face. I hadn’t seen what the bulge was made of yet, but he sure liked thrusting it in my face every chance he could.

  I snipped the shears I had in my hand. “You’re very brave to come that close.” He backed up. “That’s what I thought.”

  I stood and looked at him. His curly blond hair needed a cut, as usual, and the smirk on his face needed to be smacked off. I tilted my head to the side and wondered what he would look like without the scruff he tried to pass off as a beard. Why should I care what he would look like? I shook my head.

  “What do you need, Mick? I’m busy.”

  “I just thought I’d see if you needed help.”

  “As I’ve told you the other fifty times you’ve come over, no. I’ve got everything under control.”

  He rocked back on his heels and looked around. “It does look good.”

  “Thank you.”

  My sister, Rachael, came from the back and smiled. We were complete opposites. She had long, wavy blonde hair while my hair was black and cut short. You might have been able to tell we were from the same gene pool if I showed my body off the way she did, but I liked to keep things a little more under wraps compared to her curve-hugging style. Besides, I’d always been the more casual type and she was all about the latest styles. It looked good on her, but I’ve got better things to worry about than clothes.

  The other thing which set us apart was the fact she was friendly. I wasn’t. “Hey, Mick, what brings you over?”

  “Just being neighborly.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned to work on another display. “We’ve got it. Thanks for stopping by.”

  Rachael waited until he left. “You’re not very nice to him.”

  “He isn’t someone I want to be nice to.”

  “I think you could be very nice to each other.” She smiled. “I’ve tried to get Carl to grow some scruff like that. It’s sexy. The least you could do is play nice with him and tell me if it—”

  “Look, he’s the lease-holder. I don’t need to be caught up in that. Plus, he’s a little rude, always pushing his cock in my face.”

  Her hands fell to her sides. “Excuse me?”

  “Yes, it’s always there.”

  She smiled. “Maybe you’re just always looking.”

  “Don’t you have to pick up Amy?”

  “Shit.” She looked at her watch. “I really do, but this conversation isn’t over.”

  I mumbled, “It is for me.”

  I had just finished wiping down the counter even though I’d already cleaned it a dozen times. I wasn’t ready to go home. I wanted to make sure it was perfect for opening day.

  There was a small tap on the door. “Let me in already!” Mick yelled.

  I rolled my eyes and walked over to the door. “It’s unlocked. Just open—” I opened it to see him balancing two plates and two glasses of wine. He walked past without an invitation. “What are you doing?”

  “Come over and help me.”

  Curiosity got the better of me. I walked over and watched as he turned his ass to me. “Take out the tablecloth, will you? It’s a little big, but if you keep it folded in half, it should fit the counter.”

  I took the tablecloth from his back pocket and laid it out as he said to. “What are you doing?”

  “Dinner.” He set the plates and glasses down. “You never leave for dinner or have anything ordered in.” He looked me over. “You’re too thin.”

  I placed my hands on my hips. “Excuse me?”

  “You need to keep your strength up if you’re going to run a company by yourself. You need to take care of yourself or you have no business taking care of anything else.”

  He handed me a napkin with a fork and knife and pointed to the plate. I watched him grab a couple of stools for us. “Eat.” He sat on his stool and dug in. “Are you going to tell me you don’t like steak?”

  I shook my head. I sat down and looked at the steak, baked potato, and green beans. “I’m just trying to figure out what your motive is.”

  “Money.”

  I looked up. “You want me to pay you for this.”

  “No, I want you to pay for your lease, and you can’t do that if you run yourself down.” He took another bite and pointed at my plate. “Eat.”

  I could live with that answer. It was honest and impersonal, so I liked it. I started eating. “This is really good.”

  “Thanks.”

  “How did you keep it warm?”

  “I don’t live far.”

  “Oh.”

  We sat in silence and finished our meal. It wasn’t uncomfortable. The sounds of the utensils against the plates filled the air and before I knew it, I had cleaned the plate.

  “See, you feel better now, don’t you?”

  I allowed a small smile. “I do. Thank you.”

  He nodded and looked around. “It’s remarkable how good this place looks. You’ve done a great job.”

  “Thanks. Thank you for dinner, too.”

  He turned back to me and smiled. “You’re welcome.”

  A police car with lights and sirens went by and I started shaking. He noticed. “I’m going to take the plates to the back and rinse them off for you, but I don’t have any detergent to clean them.”

  He held my hand and stopped me from taking his plate. “What’s wrong?”

 
“Oh, it just startled me, is all. I’ll be right back.”

  He allowed me to go to the back with the dishes. I set them in the sink and took a deep breath while I hung my head and leaned on the counter. I wondered if Al was available. It made it easier after I moved into Rachael’s apartment to see her neighbor down the hall, but it also made it more difficult to avoid him. I needed to forget life for a while and he always helped me with that, but he had started to want too much. I just wanted sex.

  “Hey.” Mick came into the back, scaring me. I jumped, dropping the knife in the sink. “I’m sorry. You were just back here a little longer than I thought it would take to rinse plates.”

  “I must be tired.” I grabbed a hand towel and dried the plates. “They still need soap, but at least you won’t get anything dirty.”

  “Thanks.” He looked back out to the front. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No. There’s nothing to talk about.” I walked around him and took the plates to the counter. He had already folded the tablecloth.

  “Okay, but I’m a pretty good listener.”

  “I’m not good at talking. Just ask my sister.”

  He smiled. “I’m not, either. I think that’s what makes me a good listener.” He looked around. “Well, I think I’ll get out of your way and let you go home. You need to rest up for your big day.”

  I laughed. “That’s a lot of resting. It’s still a few weeks out.” What I needed wasn’t rest. I checked my watch. Al went to bed early, and I needed to catch him before he went to sleep.

  He pointed to my watch. “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”

  “Not exactly. I wanted to catch a friend before he went to sleep.”

  “He?”

  “I’m allowed to have male friends.”

  “I never said you couldn’t.”

  “It was implied.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “From one word?”

  “It was the tone.”

  He tilted his head forward. “The tone was surprise that you liked the male species.”

  “Occasionally.”

  “I’m a lot closer.”

  “To what?”

  He stepped up to me but didn’t touch me. “For what you need your friend for.”

  We stood there staring at each other. He was probably wondering if I was going to take him up on his offer, and I was wondering if he was serious. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t get involved and risk losing the shop, no matter how promising the bulge he constantly put in front of me was.

  “You have no idea what I need my friend for.”

  He walked me backwards until I hit the counter. “You want him to take care of your needs. Needs you suddenly have ever since that cop car went blaring by. You need him to help you forget life for a while, to make you feel good, and protected.” He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Deny it.”

  I swallowed as he leaned in more, pressing his body to mine and reaching behind me to grab the dishes. I closed my eyes when he walked away. The breath I had been holding was finally released. Al better not have gone to sleep yet.

  I unlocked my door and threw my purse on the chair. I wanted to take a shower before I went to Al’s. He didn’t care if I came over dirty from working in the shop, but I cared. Before I got to the bathroom, there was a knock on my door. I smiled; only one person knocked like that. He could shower with me.

  I opened the door and smiled even wider. “Hey, I was just going to jump in the shower and head over, but you can come in with me. My back needs washing.”

  He stepped in, but didn’t look happy. “Deb, we need to talk.”

  I lowered my head and shut the door. I was dreading this day, the day he demanded more than sex. I turned and looked at the guy I’d spent the last several months with but knew very little about. That was how I wanted to keep it.

  He was blond, dumb, and a great fuck. That’s all I needed to know and all I wanted to know. I was going to miss the orgasms he could give me. Fuck. “Al, we’ve talked about this.”

  “No, actually.” He looked at the package in his hands. “I met someone.”

  I took a step back. I hadn’t expected that. “You did?”

  “Yeah, and I want to be exclusive with her.” He handed me the package.

  “What’s this?”

  “A goodbye gift.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Don’t open it until I leave, but I feel bad about this.”

  I put the box on the side table and hugged him. “Do not feel bad at all. I’m very happy for you.”

  He hugged me back. “You are?”

  “Of course.” I backed up and patted his chest. “You have a big heart in there and have wanted to give it to someone for a long time. I’m glad you’ve found someone to give it to.” I looked at the gift. “You really didn’t have to.”

  He smiled. “Yes, I did.” He checked his watch. “She’s coming over any minute, so I should get back to my apartment. Thanks for being cool with this. I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, champ. We’ll still see each other. We’ll just see each other with our clothes on.”

  He smiled and nodded as he walked out. I locked the door behind him and turned to the package. I should’ve given it back to him. He didn’t need to give me anything. What I received from our time together was the only thing I’d wanted from him. I opened the package and smiled. I guess he wanted to make sure I still had my orgasms.

  I took it out and looked at the deluxe model vibrator he had given me. I wasn’t much into vibrators and didn’t have the need for them with him next door. I shrugged and took it to the bedroom. I didn’t have him anymore, so no need for his money to go to waste.

  I sat in the window seat looking out over the city. It was my favorite spot; I could see everything from there. The comings and goings of the street I spent every minute on were all familiar to me. The cop in me had to mentally record every moment. It was easier to spot the standouts—those who wanted to do harm to the street I called home.

  Or those who came back who should’ve been in bed.

  I narrowed my eyes as I watched Deb when she got out of her car and looked at her keys, trying to find the one to unlock her shop. I glanced at my watch. Her male friend must not know how to take his time and worship her body the way it needed to be. That was a shame for him, but it opened the door for me. I knew how to take my time with her. I’d thought about it enough.

  I ran down the stairs as she fumbled with her keys and hoped I wasn’t too late. Just as she opened the door, I put my arms around her. She screamed.

  I covered her mouth and took her inside. “Stop. It’s just me, Mick.” I let go of her and reached for the light.

  She turned and started hitting me before I turned the light on. I fought to grab her hands and finally put them behind her back, holding them with one hand. I reached over and turned the light on.

  “See? It’s just me.” I let go and received a slap to the face.

  “Don’t ever do that again!”

  I rubbed my face. “I was proving a point.”

  “I already knew you were an asshole.” She was breathing hard and went to stand behind the counter. I saw as her eyes darted to the shears on her left.

  “I’m not going to hurt you. I was surprised to see you back so soon. You just left two hours ago.” I looked her over. “Judging by the shower you’ve taken, either your friend wasn’t available or he’s a little too quick.”

  She leaned her elbows on the counter and put her face in her hands. I really had frightened her. I walked over and touched her shoulder, but she stood up and grabbed the shears. I stepped back with my hands up.

  “I’m sorry.” I lowered my hands when she put the shears down. She didn’t let go of them, though. “Are you okay?”

  “I’ll be fine as soon as you leave.”

  I placed my hands in my pockets and rocked on my heels. “Why are you back here?”

  “I don’t remember reading an
ything in the lease which said I had to account for my time. I’m free to come and go as I see fit.”

  “I didn’t mean that. I figured you’d be home in bed.”

  “He got a girlfriend.” She let go of the shears.

  “Oh, I see.” I took one step forward and continued when she didn’t seem to be put off by it, but I still stayed a few feet away. “So, why didn’t you just go to sleep?”

  “Why aren’t you at home in bed asleep?” She paused. “Or with your girlfriend or whatever.”

  “I don’t have a girlfriend or whatever, and I was home when I saw you.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “You live here?”

  I nodded toward the place next door. “I have an upstairs apartment next door.”

  “So that’s why you won’t rent it out.”

  I smiled. It was part of it. “I’m sorry I startled you.”

  “Startled? You fucking scared me.”

  “Either way, I’m sorry.” I looked around the shop. “What are you doing here?”

  “Normally, I feel calm when I’m in here.” She jumped on the counter and slid around to sit facing me. “You kind of took that away.”

  I smiled. “I have that effect on people.”

  “What are you still doing up?”

  “I don’t sleep much.”

  “I’m going to need my lease-holder to take better care of himself.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes, I don’t need you to raise the price to pay for your medical bills.” She ran her hands through her short, black hair.

  I took another step closer. “I do need to get more exercise.”

  “Yeah, maybe you could sleep better if you worked out.”

  I smiled. “I do work out.” I grabbed a stool and sat down. “I can get you into my gym since you need a new workout plan.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Your male friend has a girlfriend now. You’ll need to find a different way to exercise.”

  She shook her head, but smiled. “Nice. I have other means of working out, so don’t worry about me.”

  “I’m not worried. So, what was the arrangement between the two of you?”

  “I’m not taking new applicants.”

  I chuckled. “I’m curious. Sue me.”

  “It was just sex. There was nothing else to it. We didn’t discuss our days, and we didn’t date or have dinner together.” She shrugged. “It was just sex.”